Posted by Patrick Moore
ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE
I think there is a fundamental core in all of us that never really changes. We may learn to control some of our broken behaviours and bad habits but we carry with us those fundamental traits, good and bad, which have been with us since childhood. If I go into a relationship thinking I am going to change the other person, I'm in for a rocky ride. Better to learn how to accept them as they are.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RIGHT
I almost always think that I am right when I get into an argument. That's what I'm fighting for! But there is a very wise saying that I now keep in mind, "Do you want to be right or be happy?" The fact is that very few situations are black and white. If I want to, I can nearly always find some areas where I can give way. So often when I am fighting for what I think is right, it has nothing to do with the situation at hand but is more about some ancient old resentment.
Lies are like poison in any relationship. Even if I get away with a lie, I carry around the knowledge that I have been dishonest inside of me. So I think honesty is the best policy...with one proviso. Honesty does not mean criticism. If I use my honesty as an excuse to be endlessly critical of you, then I must not love you very much.
LET IT GO
Why do we find it so hard to forgive our loved ones when they make mistakes? Perhaps it would be easier if we remembered all of the mistakes we ourselves have made and been forgiven for. I think we have only two healthy choices in relationships: forgive or leave.
GET A LIFE
Couples made up of two people with their own passions seem the happiest to me. We may share some interests but if I have some volunteer commitments or hobbies that are my own, I am a more interesting person because I remember who I was when I was single.